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Episode 205: Memento mori

“Memento mori” opens with a long conversation about a scientific paper from 2003 that studies female users of a certain unnamed dating app and their preferences in the men that they contact. The topics then move on to: Quantum Leap, getting her nose where the sun don’t shine, eating in the car, odd news commentary, Nippon news, and what we had for lunch.

Double X Quantimino.

Height to income dateability ratio, an Interview with Dr Smartman – These Clams Don’t Appreciate Short Kings: How Much Short Guys Need to Make to Be Attractive

Brian explains Quantum Leap to Gen Z.

The Back Nine: How to get her nose in your b-hole

Eating in the car

This Is The Newz.

There is already a company called Meta and it is asking for several million to give the name to Mark Zuckerberg

M’sia company’s name & logo last 3 years was Meta before Facebook’s Meta rebrand

2021 National Toy Hall of Fame Inductees Announced – The Strong Museum of Play

Venomous sharks found in London’s Thames river

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

We buy chocolate fish in a can from a store in Akihabara

Mochi ice cream ramen: Noodles will never be the same again

Crazy shiitake crane game out lets you win mushrooms by winning mushrooms that aren’t mushrooms

Japan’s oldest McDonald’s worker defies age barriers, inspires everyone at the age of 93

Japan’s Bear Paw Cafe: A safe space for staff with mental health challenges

More Newz.

Woman claims her life is harder because she is ‘attractive’

‘Plus-size Hooters’ in booty shorts spark debate: We are ‘sexy and confident’

Waitress reveals she made only ONE PENNY during six-week pay period

What I Had For Lunch

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz.

Episode 204: Sure to Make the Bodies Drop

Your favorite part-time friends invite you to indulge in The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast packed with thought-provoking conversations sprinkled with ideas and jokes to get you through your day. Bring a change of clothes.

Double X Quantimino.

Arthur the Arbiter Versus Veganism

Arby’s wings

Brian’s top 5 human fluids

Godzilla turned 67.

“I am become death.”

Hedorah

Slam poetry is boring.

Franksplaining.

This Is The Newz.

Student-staff lap dances at Kentucky high school lead to disciplinary actions

Taiwanese teacher uses adult video platform Pornhub to teach mathematics

‘This why my packages always late’: Viral TikTok shows woman in the back of Amazon worker’s truck, sparking speculation

Porn site BangBros just bid $10 million for Miami’s NBA stadium to become the ‘BangBros Center’

Ontario man says he found rocks in President’s Choice frozen berries and was offered $300 in points if he kept quiet

Mom banned as Orange elementary school volunteer after anonymous letter reveals OnlyFans page

Elon Musk wants to start a university with a very immature name

Japan startup targets supercar users with $700,000 hoverbike

Texas woman points gun at 7-year-old for trick-or-treating outside her home

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Class up your campsite with these Japanese sake pouches designed for the outdoors

Japanese office disaster: man pees in drink bottle of woman coworker because “he liked her”

Sapporo man attempts to rob store with lighter, goes as you’d expect

Could you eat 50 beef cutlet refill pieces? If so, this Japanese restaurant will let you eat for free

More Newz.

1,000 Andy Warhol sketches offered for $250 each — but only one is real

I’m a doctor & this is how to get rid of an unwanted erection in just 30 seconds

A COVID-19 victim’s body that was supposed to be used for medical research was dissected in front of a live audience in a hotel ballroom without the family’s consent

Florida teacher won’t face charges for showing R-rated film

The McPlant tastes just like any McDonald’s burger

Men with ‘golden penis syndrome’ are ruining sex and dating for women

The McRib Is Back at McDonald’s. It’s Also an NFT

Tom Hanks says he refused to pay $28 million to join Jeff Bezos in space

What I Had For Lunch

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz.

Episode 203: Cautiously Optimistic

Ladies, gentlemen, and scholars! The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast brings you Four Dudes in a Booth recording from the Thicccum Farmz Compound in the Beaded Curtain District. Bring a change of clothes.

Double X Quantimino.

Perspectives – If you were told that your remains could become long pig, would you let the humans eat your flesh or not? What if you had no choice but knew that you would be the main course of a food review video on YouTube?

Lawn gnomes

What makes Cowboy Bebop a great anime series

Dune 2021

Just Egg – The commercials annoy Arthur, but the product annoys him even more.

Spirited away – If jizz were ghosts

In the room where it happened (not a Hamilton reference)

Burrito hates Pearl Jam and R.E.M.

This Is The Newz.

Hooters waitress left in tears by customer’s rude message on receipt

This is how you run a £37,000 tab in a London restaurant

Man ordered to trim his bush which he’s been growing for 20 years

Egypt detains artist robot Ai-Da before historic pyramid show

‘Testicle bath’ birth control device earns Germany’s Dyson Prize

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Japanese roller coaster keeps breaking riders’ bones, now under federal investigation

Japan’s number-one cosplayer Enako reveals shocking amount she earns from manga gravure modeling

Osaka man arrested for smearing poo on teen’s backpack

Japanese man says “I’m a Vietnamese” while pointing knife at convenience store worker to rob her

More Newz.

New Owners of Wu-Tang Clan Album ‘Once Upon a Time in Shaolin’ Revealed

Rare ‘flesh-eating’ STD on the rise in UK, doctor warns

Woman shocked to find whole potato in a bag of Aldi crisps

Felony Charges Filed In KFC Drive-Thru Rage

Kellogg’s sued for $5M over alleged lack of strawberries in Pop-Tarts

Hundreds of rolls of toilet paper spilled onto California highway

What I Had For Lunch

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz.

Episode 202: Ride or Die

Brutally honest and humorous, just the show you’ve been looking forward to all week, every week. Intergalactic boba runners bring you conversations to get you through your existence.

Pre-show.

Drops of Jupiter.

Gemini’s grade school history project

Tila Tequila.

Sodium one-liner.

Double X Quantimino.

Superman.

Catwoman: Lonely City.

Lilith.

The Beatles.

Ruby Tuesday.

Brian’s Botched Circumcision.

Intermission.

Botched circumcision commentary.

Gemini tells a joke. “student council”

This Is The Newz.

Pablo Escobar’s Cocaine Hippos Are Legally People, Court Rules

Melissa Joan Hart becomes the first to win $1 million on ‘Celebrity Wheel of Fortune’

Disgraced ‘Billionaire’ Says He Faked His Way Onto the Rich Lists

I found an Amazon folder with thousands of audio recordings from my home gadgets

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Japanese firework catapults a teddy bear into the sky

Electronic grandchild “Ami-chan” developed by Takara Tomy

“World’s most spacious public toilet” baffles the mind in Japan

Man in Kyoto leaves bag of red-stained knives in front of stranger’s house

More Newz.

West Japan man arrested for alleged sale of porn videos with pixelated images altered by AI – The Mainichi

Museum Starts OnlyFans Account After Its TikTok Is Banned for Posting Nudes

I went dumpster diving at my local Whole Foods and found $1,000 worth of fresh baked goods, produce

Local TV Station Apologizes For Playing Porn During Weather Report

Penis plant in bloom in Leiden; Third time ever in Europe

Worker exposes how fast-food ice can make you sick in viral TikTok

Taco Bell Fans Are Mourning the Sudden End of This Beloved Item

What I Had For Lunch

Burrito ate Burger King.

Clam jam.

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz.

Episode 201: Pressure Makes Diamonds

Change of plans. You’re chillaxing with your favorite part-time friends on The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast recorded in the Beaded Curtain District especially for you and everyone you know.

Double X Quantimino.

Zero spending days are a myth.

Band logos. 

The new Batman movie: The Batman

2019 film Lighthouse

Chilledcow lo-fi hip hop on vinyl

Bomb Queen

Perspectives: Taking a shit on the clock

Burrito updated his 6-disc CD changer. Let’s taco bout it.

Thursday – Full Collapse

Strung Out – An American Paradox

Coheed and Cambria – Good Apollo I’m Burning Star IV: Part 2: No World For Tomorrow

Rage Against the Machine – The Battle of Los Angeles

Gorillaz – Demon Days

The Mars Volta – Deloused in the Comatorium

Arthur the Arbiter: Sandwich shop drive-thru

This Is The Newz.

Man orders 100 tacos on first date, asks woman to pay for them

Man plunges nine stories from NJ high-rise, lands on BMW — and survives

UK Man Wears Fatsuit, Disguises Himself as a Black Woman Before Carrying Out Acid Attack on Ex-Girlfriend

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Cup Noodle now has cute cats and judgmental foxes waiting underneath its lids

Honda releases official doggy wheel accessories, Shiba Inu shift selectors for your car

Food delivery service’s payment processing error allows some people to eat for free…for 3 years

Furious train otaku in Japan confront foreign bicyclist after he gets in the way of their cameras

Kadokawa president apologizes and takes pay cut for his comments about censoring manga

More Newz.

Shoppers are shocked after learning ‘correct’ way to pronounce ‘IKEA’

Banksy artwork that was shredded after auction sells for 20 times its pre-shredded price

What I Had For Lunch

Unhealthy snacks

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Episode 200: Word Museum, Wax Bottles, or Pride of Lions

We have the greatest conversations ever had by any living beings in the universe and quadruple dare you to disagree. You won’t hear any recordings better with dudes in a booth discussing the most interesting topics of the week.

Double X Quantimino.

Canned water.

Wax bottles.

What is in Burrito’s 6-disc CD changer?

An old friend that Brian is not that close with asked Brian to donate his liver to him.

Maria Bamford.

Brian bombed at comedy open mic.

This Is The Newz.

McDonald’s McRib is McBack to McTantalize your McTastebuds

IKEA cites ‘health and safety’ for hidden cameras in toilets

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Krispy Kreme Japan creates doughnut burgers that are a meal and two desserts all in one

Who’s ready to make poop cakes with this Japanese cooking gadget?

You put WHAT in your curry? Japanese netizens reveal their favorite secret ingredients

Japanese artist sells people’s darkest secrets encased in concrete

Saitama man repeatedly steals food from store by making his phone say “PayPay♫”

More Newz.

Crypto CEO threatens customers after mistakenly sending them millions

Kate Moss’ daughter Lila walks the ramp at Milan Fashion Week wearing her insulin pump

What I Had For Lunch.

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz.

Episode 199: Gold Mothra

This episode opens with a discussion of a story of a man who ejaculates from his anus followed by a two-part “Plug In & Hate” session about long lines and mis-delivered packages. Then we talk about Rodan from Godzilla, a crazy girl, Brian’s dating life, and today’s rock star lifestyle. Newz, BNN, Lunch, then we’re done but not for long.

Double X Quantimino.

A Rare Medical Complication Caused a Man to Ejaculate from His Anus.

Plug In & Hate Part 1: Waiting in lines where the end of the line is inefficient.

Plug In & Hate Part 2: Receiving mis-delivered packages.

Re-visiting anime television series Godzilla Singular Point.

True or False? 19-year-old arrested for the death of a man who died after being set on fire at his home.

Inquiring minds want to know: First dates with Brian in the dating app game.

Do today’s rock stars still battle the same substance abuse demons like their predecessors or have the late Millennials and Gen Z learned their lesson? Or are the musicians with demons not idolized like the rock stars that didn’t survive? Or is Big Brother Records keeping the cap on the bottle and grooming today’s rock stars to know they will be quickly dismissed if the demons take over?

This Is The Newz.

Video shows woman pulling out gun in Chipotle after store closes early.

A North Carolina family finds an unknown woman in mother’s casket.

Impossible’s new vegan nuggets taste better than McNuggets. Sadly, that’s not saying much.

This animal has survived for centuries without having sex.

(Avengers #200)

Man Almost Fights His Way Into an Airplane Cockpit on Flight From Boston.

Scientists Working on a Toilet That Identifies You by Your Butthole.

Haunted house actor accidentally stabs an 11-year-old boy.

Keen spirit: Australian cyclist uses GPS to recreate Nirvana’s Nevermind cover.

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Tokyo cafe serves special drinks and desserts for your anime crush, welcomes otaku/fujoshi diners.

Aomori police are on the lookout for a man shouting unsolicited advice at kids about dating and ramen.

Is Japan’s new Super Combined Cup Noodle series really as great as it claims to be?

Cup Noodle Sodas: Culinary innovation or beverage abomination?

Cup Noodle pouch satisfies our never-ending need for instant ramen.

More Newz.

(Fake) FBI raid at NSA employee’s home reveals over 16,000,000 ‘dick pics’.

Dubstep artist Skrillex could protect against mosquito bites.

A California burger joint bans customers under 18 from dining without parents, saying young people threw fries at staff and stuck candy to the ceiling.

Car-exhaust drug craze alarms Congo’s capital.

A museum says they gave an artist $84,000 in cash to use in artwork. He delivered blank canvases and titled them “Take the Money and Run.”.

Jake Gyllenhaal: ‘Women? They’re superior to men’.

Internet stunned by ‘ridiculous’ prices at Salt Bae’s new London restaurant.

Limp Bizkit officially release new single ‘Dad Vibes’.

What I Had For Lunch.

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz.

Episode 198: Strange You Never Knew

We saved you a seat at the lunch table where the conversation is a roller coaster of witty exchanges of knowledge, jokes, and laughter unmatched by everything that you’ve heard before. Bring a change of clothes.

Double X Quantimino.

Arthur wonders how the cohosts feel about the recent Apple zero-day and Pegasus spyware.

Get the phrase “blessed like Peter North” in the zeitgeist.

Your favorites from Wendy’s one last time if the restaurant closed.

Saddest song of the 90s.

Gender bending James Bond.

Swearing Is Actually a Sign of More Intelligence – Not Less – Say Scientists.

Kuchisabishii “lonely mouth” The feeling of wanting to eat when you aren’t hungry. What is your go to lonely mouth snack? Words in other languages that English can only describe in sentences.

This Is The Newz.

Polish sells parts of her BODY as NFTs including G-spot and nipples.

Jar of Elvis Presley’s hair auctioned for $72,500.

Michael Jordan’s used underwear up for auction.

The U.S. Treasury Is Auctioning Off an Entire JDM Project Car Collection.

One Man’s Journey To Document The Strangest McDonald’s In The World.

National Toy Hall of Fame 2021 Finalists Revealed.

Samuel Adams’ latest potent beer is illegal in 15 states.

Men take a vehicle with ‘free car’ sign, find a body in the trunk.

Headstone used to make fudge was restored to a Michigan gravesite after 146 years.

Where it was for most of the time it was missing is a mystery.

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Drunk droning arrest first of its kind in Aichi Prefecture.

Sega of America taken to court in a five million dollar lawsuit, accused of deceiving users. Arcade game Key Master is set so users can’t win until they’ve lost enough times.

Japan is so polite even its hanko stamps bow to show respect.

23 flavors, five top recommendations for the wide world of Kikkoman soy milk.

More Newz.

Japanese grapes are some of the most expensive grapes in the world. In 2020, one bunch sold for $12,000. Just one bunch of Ruby Roman grapes sold for $12,000 at auction in 2020. That’s about $400 per grape.

Attack On Titan Gets Freaky-Looking Trash And Recycling Bins.

3 people were shot at a Pennsylvania baby shower after an argument over gifts.

Mum gives birth to ‘eBaby’ after ordering an artificial insemination kit online.

Chinese netizens angry at Gong Li for wearing Adidas, point out that she’s not a Chinese citizen.

Stern Unveils ‘Godzilla’-Themed Pinball Machine.

Two men arrested for alleged illegal smuggling of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Texas mom erupts at school board over ‘anal sex’ passage in middle schoolers’ book.

What I Had For Lunch.

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Blo-N-Go Hair Dryers.

Episode 197: All My Friends Have Meaty…

With your headphones on and pants tight, treat yourself to The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast recorded at the Thicccum Farmz Compound in the Beaded Curtain District with entertaining fellas that your mother warned you about. Bring a change of clothes.

Double X Quantimino.

Burger King introduces Keep It Real Meals after banning 120 artificial ingredients. 

BK celebrity meals with Nelly, LILHUDDY, and Anitta.

If you met someone who has never heard of Weezer and could only pick one song, which Weezer song would you pick?

Arthur missed a 10% Off opportunity.

Brain got ripped off by a funeral home.

If you had to give up meat or cheese for the plant-based alternative, which one would you give up?

Last man on earth.

This Is The Newz.

Rapper Dan Sur has gold chains surgically attached to his head instead of hair.

A Maryland man whose attack on a woman with a semen-filled syringe was caught on camera was sentenced to 10 years.

Lab-grown woolly mammoths could walk the Earth in six years if a geneticist’s new start-up succeeds.

The Great Wall of Vagina.

Spotify’s King of Sleep Music Outstreams Lady Gaga, Somehow

Taco Bell’s New Taco Lover’s Pass Offers 30 Days of Tacos for One Low Price

Cat-astrophe averted as fans catch falling feline using flag at American football game

The Ballet Shoe Stew of 1842

What I Had For Lunch.

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Blo-N-Go Hair Dryers.

Episode 196: Literally Countless Stars

From tip to taint, Slam City covers the happenings of four dudes in a booth, odd news commentary, and food. Recorded at the Thicccum Farmz Compound in the Beaded Curtain District, your all-time favorite part-time friends bring you a triple uranium podcast that makes people laugh deep inside.

Double X Quantimino.

Thrice.

Misuse of the word “countless”.

Arthur the Arbiter: Bacon Wrapped Hot Dogs and “Never, never share your ramen!”.

Pronounce “incongruous”.

“Damb” in the wild.

Guy in a Coma.

Fitted FUBU Shirt.

Bug chasers.

Open campus.

Quiznos.

The Wes Burrito, custom burrito.

This Is The Newz.

Colombia Navy Seizes $60 Million Worth of Cocaine Found Inside a Semi-Submersible Vessel.

Dog The Bounty Hunter says he thought he had a pass to use the N-word “like Eminem”.

A giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch mascot at a Marlins game became nightmare fuel for so many MLB fans.

McDonald’s customer vows to go vegan after finding ‘pig nipple’ in bacon roll.

The Surprisingly Popular Chocolate Bars Made With Blood.

(BNN false start, dog water).

Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Excessive dog pee is to blame for traffic light collapse, Japanese police think.

A South Korean university develops a toilet that converts poop to power and pays you for “deposits”.

Evangelion LCL ice cream is real and the new taste of summer in Japan.

Domino’s Pizza Japan apologizes for freaking out Londoner with fish and chips pizza, and offers free pie.

Lawson Japan serves up carbs on carbs with their new French Fry Bread.

More Newz.

A man was arrested on suspicion of stealing more than 700 pieces of women’s underwear from coin laundromats.

Texas man caught trying to smuggle 350 lbs of meat across the border.

Lil Uzi Vert says fans ripped his $24 million diamond out of his forehead.

Tom DeLonge: “The secret to playing fast is masturbating. If you don’t masturbate, you can’t play punk rock!”.

What I Had For Lunch.

Survey Monkey changes its name to Momentive.

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